As you can tell below, I was quite an angry teenager (ah, teenage angst). Looking back on it now, it is embarrassing to read. I put in profanity just to show how angry I was (now I feel like profanity isn’t necessary and should be put in only to add to a story). I was incredibly bitter. At the time, I thought that this piece was clever, but now it just looks pathetic. However, to battle the feeling of patheticness (I don’t think that’s a word, but go with me) let me give you some context to that very angry 19-year-old: I was coming out of an ugly break up and was not quite out of high school mode. Let me just mention briefly that “high school mode” is incredibly unhealthy in regards to love, friendship, family or anything having to do with living a well-adjusted life (and I learned the hard way). Anyway, 2007 Mike loved shock value, and that combined with my bitterness towards love created this monster of a human being. In fact, I thought my blog would be based off shock value (whatever, I still like shock value a little bit), but instead I went a completely different route (I believe some people call it evolving as a human being or a writer… or maturity).
Anyway, I think my life has changed completely since then, and when I look back on that time period in my life, it looks more like a fiction novel than something that actually happened. For this reason, I present to thoughts on Valentine’s Day by the happy, satisfied with life and the way things are going Mike…
Valentine’s Day sucks (I guess some things never change). I say this for many reasons. Sure, it’s on a Saturday night this year, meaning that alchohol can cure all angst towards this holiday, but the fact of the matter is, Valentine’s Day makes you reflect on your life. Follow me here.
Situation one: you’re in a relationship (and I’m referring to a young adult-college-ish relationship because once you get to a certain point in a relationship or marriage Valentine’s Day is kind of cheapened). Valentine’s Day now becomes the bar for which you measure your relationship. For girls, this could mean one of two things: one, your boyfriend is good and he went all out; or two, your boyfriend is lazy and he sucks. This could be interpreted in many ways. Let’s look at the first situation: the guy goes all out. Now the standard is set for the rest of the 364 days of the year. And, as a male, we are screwed for those 364 days. It’s just impossible to keep it up all year long (even A-Rod had days off… even when he was on steroids). The second situation is stickier. The guy fails the girl, so the girl begins to question the validity of the relationship. Is that healthy? No. This will probably result in more problems for this couple in the future, just because of one stupid day. Oh, and let me reiterate what Mike Circa 2007 said: girls don’t do shit for this “holiday.” Period.
The other situation is if you are single. Old Mike talked about us men watching basketball and girls going out together (and by the way, I still extrememly dislike (not hate) Sex and the City for this). But, as the Christopher Columbus of Valentine’s Day, I have discovered another route that I have seen over the past two years. First, both sexes start to think about where they have been and where they are going in life (sounds like a Dave Matthews song, which is why they suck). You start to think if you have passed your prime with the opposite sex or if you will ever find a girlfriend or boyfriend. First off, in my opinion get over yourself. It’s just one stupid day, not the rest of your life. Second, shut up.
Also, in addition to the Mike 2007 option, single girls and guys go either the depressed route or the rebellious (“screw Valentine’s Day”) route. I have seen countless girls mope around in sweatpants and claim they are too busy for Valentine’s Day. I also see an equal amount of girls get incredibly drunk and make bad life decisions. All because you don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day? Seriously? For guys you see a similar situation. You will see more men at the gym on this day than probably any other day of the year. They will also probably abuse alchohol and end up injuring themselves in an attempt to show how awesome they are.
So there you go. Valentine’s Day continues to destroy society. Good luck with the other 364 days of the year.