To My Potential Employer…

November 27, 2009

For the past weeks I’ve been inundated by Career Services that I should be afraid of what I post of online. In response to that, I have composed a letter to potential employers who may have stumbled onto my blog (I think the following should be my official cover letter):

Dear Potential Employer,

So, you’ve found my blog. Well, I have one thing to say to you: Go to hell! I’m kidding. Come on. Actually, I want to congratulate you–you really want to make sure you are potentially hiring a good person. I understand why you do it. Us technology kids post everything online and you employers want to know the true side of the potential employee. I get it. You have to admit, it is a tad ridiculous though (imagine if young George W. Bush or Barack Obama had Facebook or a blog–I’m sure neither would have been elected President of the United States).

Well, if you read this blog or go onto my Facebook you might get one side of me, but not the whole side. You get a side that likes to screw around, loves sports, and is overall a bit immature. But what you don’t get is the fact that I haven’t seen a B on a report card in two years. Or that I am a member of Phi Beta Kappa. Or that sometimes I just need to dance (kidding). All you get is the absurd side of Mike. Accordingly, let me make a brief comment about that side: I like to have a great time, but when it’s time to handle business I do just that. Drinking and having outrageous adventures have been relegated to the weekend since the end of college (if I’m lucky) and I am perfectly okay with that. Ever since law school has started, I wake up at 7 in the morning and work until 11 at night (with a few breaks to watch How I Met Your Mother or Lost, to go to the gym, or occasionally eat a legitimate meal). I take pride in being not the smartest person, but the most prepared, and if I end up employed by you, I can guarantee you that I will be the most prepared, the hardest working and most enthusiastic employee you will ever have. And yes, on the weekends I might have a few beers to blow off some steam.

If you generalize me from my Facebook account or blog then you miss a lot about me. You miss the side of me that is obsessed with scheduling. In my opinion, one of the greatest inventions of the past ten years has been the iCalendar. I have my day scheduled to a tee. From 7:15 to 7:30 is breakfast, from 7:30 to 9 it is time for me to work on my Torts outline. I am borderline OCD with details and scheduling and I don’t like being thrown off from it… and for your information, blog writing is scheduled under my one hour free time before bed (promptly at 11:30 p.m.).
You also miss the side of me that can talk to you about virtually anything. For some reason, years ago, I decided that I wanted to know a lot about everything. Whether it be Presidents (go ahead and ask me about Andrew Jackson. His biography, “American Lion” is what I read during Third World Policy last year), sports (it is a little scary how much I know. Quick quiz: who was involved in the last our of the 1996 World Series? I can answer that.), or virtually anything else (I heard Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes just moved into the West Village), I love to read about anything I can get my hands on.

So, please, don’t characterize me based on my Facebook profile or blog (leave that for my newly friended Facebook friends who kind of know me but just wanted to raise their overall Facebook friend count). However, if you do, just realize there is a lot more then what can be found on the internet (I mean, I’ve done something right by getting to this point). Thanks for stalking me to this point.